Thoughts

So, sometimes I just feel like writing. My AP English teacher in high school used to make us do a "word dump" I think she called it. Something like that. Anyway, I need to: do laundry, study for finals, start packing, and clean up around my apartment. But I'm gonna do this first :P Today, while studying in my car between classes, I witnessed at least 10 people pull up in the parking space next to me. They were either on the phone or with someone else when I'd hear them say something about how they're "just here to drop classes". Okay people, I realize the last day is tomorrow. But it's APRIL. Shouldn't you have figured out that there's no way you'll pass weeks or months ago? How often do you do this? You say it so nonchalantly, obviously your parents are paying for your classes (not that mine aren't, but at least I care that money is being spent). Not to mention so much time that's been wasted sitting in a class, and what little work or effort you did put into it. I mean what's wrong with people? Do they just not want to go to school and their parents are making them or what? And why can't ANYONE drive here? Between turning on the wrong side of the median and not knowing how to claim the intersection it's almost unbearable to drive in Tuscaloosa. OH and cashiers that over charge you for things should not be angry with you for it, even if you don't realize it until the transaction is complete. Now I have two charges for around $50 on my debit card and still no mother's day present because you couldn't even get the price right on the second try. Thanks, Hallmark Gold Crown Store.

And that, Ladies and gents, is what grinds my gears.

"Do it"

Open your eyes
And see with them.
Don't just blindly
Routinely 
Go through life
Live your life.
Tell that person
How you feel.
Get a better job.
Go back to school.
Whatever it is,
Stop dreaming
And start doing.
Stop being a brainless zombie,
And just be you.

College

So many books
Weighing down my bag.
Pages and pages of notes.
Powerpoints and study guides.
Homework, essays,
Papers and quizzes.
Reading assignments
And discussion questions.
Work. Work. Work.
Stress. Stress. Stress.
Then I go to work,
Make some money.
Feels good, but I don't have time
To do anything else.
What little free time I have
Should be spent studying.
But sometimes I just need to breathe.
Relax. Sleep.
Think about me.
I can't complain.
Some people do so much more.
But I envy those full time students
Who don't work, too.
There's a party tonight,
But I work in the morning.
I barely go out anymore,
But I'm proud of what I do.
So I keep my head up,
And look hopefully to the future I'll soon have.

"In the Heart of N.Y.C."

Bright flashing lights,
Colorful signs and TV screens.
Dawdling tourists,
Annoyed locals.
Some of them are so mean!
Speeding yellow taxis,
Shouting tour guides,
Double decker buses.
Everybody rushes
In the heart of N.Y.C.
Blocked off streets
For walking pedestrians,
Tables and chairs,
Bleachers. 
Restaurants and coffee shops
On every corner.
The excitement never stops
In the heart of N.Y.C.
Starbucks and Jamba Juice,
Tacky shops and bus stops.
Subway stations, 
Duane Reade and Walgreens
Theatres and bars.
Bars in theatres. 
Homeless people,
Rich people,
Scary people,
"Normal" people.
People everywhere
In the heart of N.Y.C.

"The Ongoing Thoughts of a Musical Person"

There's always music in my head
From when I wake up 
To when I go to bed.
It can be sad or happy or both
I always retain nearly every note.
It's both a blessing and a curse,
And emotions only make it worse.

Yogurt Shop "I hate it when...s"

I hate it when customers...
Don't respond when I greet them
Get their own sample cups
Throw money at me 
Get angry when the change machine shorts them less than 5 cents
Just look at me when I greet them
Get angry when we don't have the flavor they want
Ask how it works and then walk away right after I say "It's all self-serve"
Complain about how much it is even though I told them it's 49 cents per ounce
Make a mess
Drop a serving spoon and just set it back on the counter
Argue with me about what time we close
Don't get out after we close
Are rude
Drop their empty cup and then throw it away like the inside touched the floor or something
Throw their credit or debit card at me
Say "credit" or "debit" like it matters either way
Are creepy
Get a shit ton of samples and then don't buy anything
Throw something away in an overflowing trashcan
Throw full drinks away in the trashcan
Throw something away outside and don't even come in
Bring outside food that smells good and makes me hungry
Get angry when they walk in and I tell them we're closed
Get angry when I don't have time to list all 16 flavors on the phone
Ask me what my tattoos mean
Think ounces are pounds
Are awkward
Hit on me
Don't watch their children/don't know how to control them


And those, my friends, are the don'ts at a yogurt shop

I wrote this one about two years ago. It doesn't have a title.

*What if I rarely see you
And forget your pretty face?
What if I can't afford 
To come see you at your place?
I am so afraid of this
Truth I have to face.
You're leaving here,
And never coming back.
I love you
And you know I'll help you pack.
But promise me one day
That you'll come back.
Without you, I know 
I'll feel so off-track.
They'll be days when all I say
Is "I want my sister back"
But sisters don't hold each other back.
You know I'll help you pack,
But I don't want to see you go.
You're my best friend, you know*

One month from today, I will be living in NYC with my sister, Lindsay. This may have made me cry just now, but part of it is excitement that we will be together soon. I love you, Linds.

Untitled.

Put your arms around me.
Tell me everything's okay.
Keep me in your thoughts
Even when I'm miles away.
Hold me close to your heart
And keep me warm.
Tell me I'm beautiful
and keep me safe from the storm.

Gears are Grinding

Okay....
1) So I'm in the gym at my apartment and I'm just walking on the treadmill minding my business when a FLOCK of thugged out guys come in and SWARM around my treadmill to stare at my BOOTY. :(! B*%@#, I am trying to work out here and feel good about myself. You staring at my junk in the trunk jiggling with every stride is NOT helping. Shouldn't YOU be exercising or something?

2) I took a test a few weeks ago that I did not study for AT ALL and made a 95. I took a test last week that I studied for FOUR HOURS for and I made a 55. W. T. F.

3) I've lost a few pounds, but I feel like I look BIGGER. #%$@**$^#*@^$%$!$!^#!!!

4) I got my tax refund check the other day and I endorsed it and put it in my purse to take to the bank and I STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT. =stupid

5) American Reunion was WAY too long.

"She Does"

She held her breath
And took the first step 
Toward the life she'd always wanted.
She didn't care what others thought.
But secretly, she did.

"White Knight"

Okay, so I wrote this a long time ago...

Back to the beginning of the story,
Way before the "happily ever after" part
How did the young maiden meet her white knight?
How did she find him?
Where did she start?
How did she get so lucky? Hmm...
Maybe I want a white knight.
Or a Prince Charming.
Should I get locked in a tower?
Locked in my room?
Have my step mother kill me?
Or fly on a broom?
What if I want my happy ending,
But just can't find it?
I've tried falling down rabbit hols,
Running away from home,
Sleeping for years,
And moving to Rome.
What more can I do?
Oh, tell me true
What more can I do?
I can't find you,
White Knight.

"The Small Things"

Five o'clock
And the sun is setting
Look up at the orange
And purple and pink
Sunset.
Lie down in the grass
And think.
What would life be like
If the sky was always black?
Never any light.
We could never get it back.
Marvel at the beauty
of something so
Simple.
So much the opposite
Of a raincloud, not so grim.

"But Now you're Back"

Sitting in a field 
In the middle of the sun
The birds are singing
And the night is done
The feeling in my lungs
Of the cold morning air
Wind whispers softly
Running through my hair
Hot sun rays
Beating down on my back
Suddenly I see
That you've come back
I never thought
I'd see your face again
I always thought
That our love was just
Pretend.

"Unanswered Questions"

Fire. Light.
Dark black night.
Glaring back at you 
through the window.
Stars. Moon.
Gone too soon.
When the sun comes up
And you wake up again.
Sun. Rain.
So much pain.
People endure every day.
Life. Death.
It's all a test.
But how do you pass?
No one knows.

W....T....F

Okay, so have you ever had one of those teachers/instructors that either
     a) has no idea what the @%*$ they're talking about
     b) says things that don't make sense
     -OR-
     c) has UNAMERICAN-ly AWFUL grammer skills
     -OR EVEN WORSE-
     d) all three??
Yeah, me too.
Let's think about this for a second, shall we?

The Worst Teacher-isms
-Saying "in any case" or "if you will" like 27 times (at least- I counted once and this is the number I got) in the 1 1/2 hour class time.\
-Not being able to say 2 words without saying "umm", "uhh", or "what am I trying to say?"
-Saying "a" when it should be "an" or vice versa.
-Not giving a student credit either in class discussion or on an assignment/test just because it's not the exact wording or instance the teacher was looking for
-Mispronouncing common words like "author" and "preface"
-BEING AN ENGLISH TEACHER AND SAYING THINGS LIKE "Is there any questions?" OR NOT BEING ABLE TO COUNT #%&@ING SYLLABLES

I can honestly say that I could teach a college level class better than some of these people. From simply reading and comprehending what I read and being able to speak properly, not to mention being comfortable enough speaking in front of a group to not sound like a bumbling idiot.

And that, ladies and gents, is what grinds my gears.

@%$**&#%!!!

This is my luck lately....
Skipped class last Tuesday to have a "me day."
Came to class Thursday and two out of the four were cancelled.
Studied for a chemistry test for four hours straight.
Failed.
=Awesome