Wednesday, February 20, 2013

"The Little Things"


That moment when the only thing that can remotely calm you down is some good music.
When you don’t want to see anything or anyone.
You just want to sit alone in your room, in your car, anywhere.
Sitting there, blank look on your face. Just thinking.
That day where you feel like you can’t get anything right.
Where you just wanna go home and go back to bed.
When you can’t look at yourself if the mirror because your hair’s not right, you have a giant pimple in the middle of your face, or you don’t like what you’re wearing.
That day when you try on 50 things and end up wearing the first thing you put on.
When you trip walking up some stairs, lock your keys in your car, and leave everything you needed at home.
That day when you just want somebody to feel sorry for you because you feel pitiful doing it all by yourself.
That day when you can’t hold your head up, where you drive your car around and don’t even feel like you’re aware of your surroundings or don’t know whether you’ll remember driving at all later.
That moment when all you want is to hear somebody’s voice that cares.
When you call and they’re having a bad day too.
When you hear all the crap they’ve been dealing with and you somehow feel better about yours.
And you’re secretly wondering if the other person feels the same way about what you’ve gone through.
That moment at the end of the day when you realize you got through it all, and it’s time to relax.
When you’re thankful you have someone to listen, someone that cares and feels sympathy for you.
That moment when you miss everyone back home or everyone you used to know.
But you’re happy to know that no matter what happens, you’ll always have somebody there for you.
That moment when you’re having a horrible day and you finally get over yourself and feel better.
I live for the little things. The resolution to a problem, the conversation that heals an altercation, the end of a long hard day. That moment when you pour your heart out to a friend and they just listen.
That moment when you realize you haven’t tried your hardest, you haven’t done your best. And you try harder.
That moment when you realize your full potential and feel proud.
When you finally understand why anyone has felt that way about you. Or the moment where you realize you were silly to ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough.
That moment when you feel good. When you look in the mirror and don’t feel shame.
Or the moment when you realize you need a little encouragement to get to that point.
The moment when you know you’re close to reaching a goal, and the overwhelming pride when you finally get there.
The moment when you realize you have people that care about you all around, and  they’ve been there the whole time.
I live for the little things.
I live for the people I love. I live to please them, and in that I please myself.
That moment when you realize a mistake you’ve made.
When you find out you’ve hurt someone and you didn’t mean to. Or the moment when you regret it.
The act of apologizing. The act of swallowing your pride and asking for forgiveness.
The satisfaction you get for gaining that forgiveness, or for standing up and being the bigger person.
That moment when you realize you’ll never be perfect, but you’ll never stop trying.
That moment when you know you’re human.
When you can pick yourself up and keep going.
When you can be happy in spite of anything holding you back.
When you decide not to let it hold you back anymore.
That moment when you know you’re trying your best, and there’s nothing more you can do.
When you realize you shouldn’t feel inadequate, because you’re giving it your all.
When you can breathe. And just be you.
I live for the little things.
A sunset, a party, a burst of laughter, some flowers.
Three little words that mean so much more.
I strive for the bigger things.
Friends, family, a lover, and all the people you touch.
A purpose, a meaning, a goal, and a path.
School, social life, a career, honesty and trust.
It will never be too much.
There’s always time to be great.
That moment when life finally makes sense.
And the thing that made you feel this way.
I live for the little things.

Monday, February 4, 2013

My perspective of my college career thus far...with a little AΓΔ love.

It continues to fascinate me the different views that people have on higher education. It baffles me that anyone would go to college just to go, that some people genuinely do not care about their grades, appearance to others, or their financial well-being. Then there's the other half that does care, but struggles to make it through. I guess I just don't understand why anyone would want to waste their time doing something that's not really enjoyable at all without any motivation of a common goal. College isn't all about the social aspects, the partying, the clubs. They're AWESOME, and Alpha Gam is a perfect example of that. But grades and student success come above all to me, and shouldn't they to everyone? I wonder every day what some of these people's parents would say if they could see the way they act in class...or better yet the way they don't even bother to go to class. I also wonder how people who aren't involved on campus succeed: especially those who are not from the place they're going to school in, in this case Mobile. If it wasn't for AGD, I don't think I could have possibly made it through last semester at all much less come out with the highest GPA I've ever had. Sisterhood gets me through my day. The standards for grades and campus involvement motivate me to do my best, and we all know school comes first. Moving away from home made me feel like a small child again. Completely dependent on my parents, my friends, my family. Used to driving down the same roads all the time and knowing exactly where I'm going...it's nice to have this experience. I sometimes ask myself why I did it. I lived in a big university town, but it became bland. My life was bland even though I had everything I needed all around me. I feel like I've become a better version of myself. A more independent, confident, and successful student and person. I always wanted to be in "a sorority." I guess I just didn't realize how much of a difference it makes which one. I didn't understand the true meaning of greek life until I met these girls...and now they mean more to me than I could explain. It's kinda strange at first, like an instant new family that's always there for you to hang out with or to lean on. But ultimately it's a wonderful experience and it keeps me in line and doing what I'm supposed to do, what I need to do to be the best possible version of myself. I feel like I do live with purpose now. And that. Feels. Great.

Untitled.

When I'm in your arms 
I know in my heart 
That we'll always be together 
I've known it from the start. 
 No matter how long we're apart, 
It stays the same. 
I never thought I could feel 
The way I do when I'm with you 
I am who I am because of you. 
We're not perfect.
 And we never will be 
But no matter the reason 
We get angry or sad 
It's all okay at the end of the day 
And no matter what stupid things we say 
We know this is love. 
 You know me better than I know myself 
I don't know where I would be 
But I wouldn't be me without you 
Booboo, 
I adore you.