Today, the best friend I've ever had left for basic training for the Air Force. You know that feeling you get when you start hanging out with someone and you just feel like you've always known them? Like you were separated at birth and could possibly be twins and it's kind of ridiculous? That's me and Maddie. We text like every five minutes of every day, talk on the phone at least two or three times a week, Snapchat compulsively, and tell each other every nitty gritty detail of our lives. It's super unhealthy.
So now that she's leaving, I've texted her all day, talked to her on the phone a couple of times, Snapchatted compulsively....except now she's gone. She won't have her phone for over two months. It hasn't quite hit me yet...but I think it will tomorrow.
The worst part is, even though she'll get her phone back after basic training, she's still going straight from Texas to California for TWO YEARS. And I'm a poor college student...so I won't be able to visit often, and she only gets leave every so often and obviously she needs to see her family. This is the problem with best friends- we can't move around for them like we can significant others, because that's weird. Plus we'd have to pack up our significant others and move them around with us and that would be awkward...
So here it is. The beginning of our long-distance best good friendship. I am confident we are going to be able to keep up our crazily attached relationship through the test of time and mileage...because after all, if any two friends can it's us. So yep. Let the Pen-Pal-Ship commence.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
"Living"
We're all so ready
to move on with our lives
to grow up fast
and meet the right guy.
We're all so determined
to get through school
to turn eighteen
to turn twenty-one
to graduate college
and get our degrees.
Everybody's ready
for the next big step
an engagement
a wedding
a baby on the way.
We get so anxious
to move on to the next thing
to look forward to something
to spread our wings.
It's not til we're older
we'll realize
we wished it away
let the years fly by.
No matter how much they told us.
Our parents, our friends
our siblings, our grandparents
and random old men.
We always want more
we're ready to move along
to reach our next goal
to prove people wrong.
But everything's better
when you discover it's true
and you slow down
and notice the view.
to move on with our lives
to grow up fast
and meet the right guy.
We're all so determined
to get through school
to turn eighteen
to turn twenty-one
to graduate college
and get our degrees.
Everybody's ready
for the next big step
an engagement
a wedding
a baby on the way.
We get so anxious
to move on to the next thing
to look forward to something
to spread our wings.
It's not til we're older
we'll realize
we wished it away
let the years fly by.
No matter how much they told us.
Our parents, our friends
our siblings, our grandparents
and random old men.
We always want more
we're ready to move along
to reach our next goal
to prove people wrong.
But everything's better
when you discover it's true
and you slow down
and notice the view.
"Self-Conscious"
Look at her
Isn't she great
The kind of woman you'd like to date
She smiles, she walks with her head up high
She's looking for a sweet old-fashioned guy
She's beautiful
And confident
And loyal
And strong
She's funny, caring, thoughtful
She can do no wrong
But underneath it all
She's just like the rest of us
Emotions, baggage, issues
And bukus of insecurities
She sees herself in the mirror
And doesn't see what you see
She looks at you and thinks
"Look at her
Isn't she great
The kind of woman you'd like to date
She smiles, she walks with her head up high
She's looking for a sweet old-fashioned guy
She's beautiful
And confident
And loyal
And strong
She's funny, caring, thoughtful
She can do no wrong
But underneath it all
She's just like the rest of us
Emotions, baggage, issues
And bukus of insecurities
She sees herself in the mirror
And doesn't see what you see
She looks at you and thinks
"Look at her
Isn't she great
The kind of woman you'd like to date
She smiles, she walks with her head up high
She's looking for a sweet old-fashioned guy
She's beautiful
And confident
And loyal
And strong
She's funny, caring, thoughtful
She can do no wrong"
Believe in yourself
And try your best
to see yourself like you see all the rest.
Dreams
I've never been able to figure out how to rationalize or decode my dreams. Some of them are hilarious and fun, but others are weird, dark, and creepy. I've heard that if you fall asleep thinking about what you want to dream about you can control your dreams. I can't.
Most of the things I dream about I don't remember when I wake up. I either wake up in a great mood or kind of freaked out not knowing why. I assume when this happens I had a nightmare, but I can't be sure. I learned on one of those Dr. Oz-like shows that you should write down what you dream about when you first wake up so you don't forget. But it's like I instantly have no idea what I was dreaming about.
The oddest thing about my dreams is that sometime I'm not myself- I don't mean I'm acting weird, I mean I'm literally another person, sometimes even a guy. (WEIRD). Sometimes I dream in color and others it's black and white. Sometimes I'm at "home," but it's not where I actually live, and sometimes the people I care about in the dream I don't know.
The funny part is, I've heard that you have to have seen the faces in your dreams somewhere because we lack the capacity to create faces in our minds...but if this is true, does that mean that artists who paint people without models are painting randos they saw on a street corner? Food for thought.
Most of the things I dream about I don't remember when I wake up. I either wake up in a great mood or kind of freaked out not knowing why. I assume when this happens I had a nightmare, but I can't be sure. I learned on one of those Dr. Oz-like shows that you should write down what you dream about when you first wake up so you don't forget. But it's like I instantly have no idea what I was dreaming about.
The oddest thing about my dreams is that sometime I'm not myself- I don't mean I'm acting weird, I mean I'm literally another person, sometimes even a guy. (WEIRD). Sometimes I dream in color and others it's black and white. Sometimes I'm at "home," but it's not where I actually live, and sometimes the people I care about in the dream I don't know.
The funny part is, I've heard that you have to have seen the faces in your dreams somewhere because we lack the capacity to create faces in our minds...but if this is true, does that mean that artists who paint people without models are painting randos they saw on a street corner? Food for thought.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Untitled
When you're young
the world is beautiful
and always on your side
then you grow older
the magic fades away
and reality sets in
I wanna go back to the days
when my biggest concern
was getting in trouble with mom and dad
when all that mattered to me
was time with friends and family
and getting my way
I wanna go back to the fourth grade
when I was proud to show the crafts I made
Mother's Day presents
made from macaroni
sack lunches, field trips, and first crushes
hallways, lockers, and school buses
they say ignorance is bliss
I think they're right, whoever "they" are
days become filled with worry and regret
and sometimes it's hard to look on the bright side
just know that I'll be by your side
take a deep breath, it's alright.
the world is beautiful
and always on your side
then you grow older
the magic fades away
and reality sets in
I wanna go back to the days
when my biggest concern
was getting in trouble with mom and dad
when all that mattered to me
was time with friends and family
and getting my way
I wanna go back to the fourth grade
when I was proud to show the crafts I made
Mother's Day presents
made from macaroni
sack lunches, field trips, and first crushes
hallways, lockers, and school buses
they say ignorance is bliss
I think they're right, whoever "they" are
days become filled with worry and regret
and sometimes it's hard to look on the bright side
just know that I'll be by your side
take a deep breath, it's alright.
"The Road"
Love is hard enough
without all the complications
of outside circumstances
and third party opinions.
Love is hard work
that pays off in the end.
It takes all you've got
to make a commitment.
When you love someone,
you'll do anything
to make them happy,
warm their heart,
be that spark.
But some things are out of your control.
Sometimes you have to let go,
step back and say "I did my best,"
and forget all the rest.
"It's not your fault" goes in one ear and out the other.
I don't want another lover.
I love this man.
He didn't steal my heart,
I gave it to him
willingly.
I don't ever wanna be
just me. Without him.
The light at the tunnel is dim,
but I've got to stay strong.
I'll be here 'til the end.
The road is long.
"I Won't Give Up"
He's earned my trust.
I will stand beside him, I must.
For he gets me through every day.
He has found the way
to my heart.
We didn't start out on this road to fail.
I will get to wear that veil.
He can do this.
I can do this.
And we will in time succeed,
for our intentions are pure.
Our minds are made up.
We'll stick together when times get rough.
No matter what.
I back him up 100%
Because he and I are meant to be together.
To get him better.
I am not a quitter.
And this time, we're getting to the end of the road.
So help us.
He will get there with my support.
I might need some comfort,
but I can handle this. I swear I can.
I will always love this man with all my heart.
And I've known it from the start.
without all the complications
of outside circumstances
and third party opinions.
Love is hard work
that pays off in the end.
It takes all you've got
to make a commitment.
When you love someone,
you'll do anything
to make them happy,
warm their heart,
be that spark.
But some things are out of your control.
Sometimes you have to let go,
step back and say "I did my best,"
and forget all the rest.
"It's not your fault" goes in one ear and out the other.
I don't want another lover.
I love this man.
He didn't steal my heart,
I gave it to him
willingly.
I don't ever wanna be
just me. Without him.
The light at the tunnel is dim,
but I've got to stay strong.
I'll be here 'til the end.
The road is long.
"I Won't Give Up"
He's earned my trust.
I will stand beside him, I must.
For he gets me through every day.
He has found the way
to my heart.
We didn't start out on this road to fail.
I will get to wear that veil.
He can do this.
I can do this.
And we will in time succeed,
for our intentions are pure.
Our minds are made up.
We'll stick together when times get rough.
No matter what.
I back him up 100%
Because he and I are meant to be together.
To get him better.
I am not a quitter.
And this time, we're getting to the end of the road.
So help us.
He will get there with my support.
I might need some comfort,
but I can handle this. I swear I can.
I will always love this man with all my heart.
And I've known it from the start.
"Those 4 Words"
It catches the eye
glittering in the dark.
It holds a place
for the wedding band.
It's beautiful to look at,
It's fun to show off.
But most of all it means
you have my hand.
You'll be my man.
Through thick and thin,
we'll be together.
You'll hold me
in your arms forever...
I dreamt about it so many times,
but never could I have imagined
a more beautiful way to ask a question.
glittering in the dark.
It holds a place
for the wedding band.
It's beautiful to look at,
It's fun to show off.
But most of all it means
you have my hand.
You'll be my man.
Through thick and thin,
we'll be together.
You'll hold me
in your arms forever...
I dreamt about it so many times,
but never could I have imagined
a more beautiful way to ask a question.
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